Summer 2011:

"I'm the intoxications." -Mitch

"The dog loves me. I gave him a red rocket." -Mitch
"I don't know what that is but it sounds dirty."- Tonya
"It's when the penis comes out of the sheath." -Mitch

"I'm going to email you pictures of elephant dongs." -Mitch
"Is that going to be the new Rick rolling?" -Neil

"With lemon law, there's an implied warranty." -Mitch
"Does that work for Barney's (How I Met Your Mother) lemon law?"-Me
"That's the nerdiest thing you've ever said." -Mitch

"Your hat and shirt match. You look gay."-Jamie
"Well in my fiance's defense, not everyone can look preppy and homeless at the same time."- Me

"Tonya told me that Neil and I are the new Conrad and Osbourne."- Scott

"I don't care who they are. I will piss on their doorstep." -Mitch
"Let me hold your gyros while you do that." -Me
"See? I need a girl like that. Someone to hold my gyros while I piss on people's doorstep." -Nate

"Hey we're living together." -Mitch
"I know and it's kind of freaking me out. I've never lived with a boy." -Me
"Yeah and boys can't be trusted. They've got sideways 'giners." -Mitch

"They're Jen and Sam. They're Jam. We're Jitch."-Me
"I prefer that we be MiBo."- Mitch

"Where's my lady?" -Conrad

"Ok night night Alex. I mean Jbo." -Conrad

"You want a pretzel stick?"- Jen
"You're a pretzel stick."- Conrad

"Orcas are like sea nazis."- Me

"Jesus is my little spoon."- Me

"How old do you have to be to appreciate a threesome?"- Mitch
"Over 22. A threesome is like wine. It gets better with age... and it tastes like old lady vagina." -Me

"Yeah sure you're patient." - Scott, sarcastically to Tonya
"Are you saying I'm impatient? With regards to what? Sex?" - Tonya