February and March 2011:

"I'm simple...if you think 1,000 piece puzzles are simple."- Amanda

"You're lucky you have a handsome lambchop of man." - Wes

"I'm trying to pretend I don't know you." -Tenney
"You want me to feed you a French fry?" -Wes

"Roll over." -Amanda
"Why? (sniffs) Did you just diarrhea in my bed?" -Wes
"hehehehe" -Amanda

"I came in judging, and now I'm one of them." -Amanda

"I'm just gonna grow my nosehair down my neck and onto my chest." -Wes

"You ok?" -Wes (to Amanda who's in the bathroom as he walks in on her)
"Get outta here! You're gonna scare it back in!" -Amanda
"Is that some turtle action?" -Wes

"Merry Mexico to you!" -Amanda

(as Wes puts his ass on Amanda while dancing, someone from another table yells out) "Someone is getting pregnant tonight!"
(pulling up his shirt and rubbing his stomach in response) "Too late!"- Wes

"You smell like cheesy bread." -Wes
"I'm gonna take that as an insult." -Amanda
"Why? Pet my face. This is why I can't get rid of the beard." -Wes

"Can you take your hand outta my armpit?" -Amanda
"Why? It's so warm!" -Wes

"We have tingly mint soap and orange face soap from Trader Joe's." -Wes
"No YOU have that. I have normal soap." -Amanda
"But I wanna share it with you." -Wes

"You're not even gonna have to beg. I'm gonna walk in the door and it's gonna be all off. You're gonna have to say no because otherwise it will be on. We've got some doritos and hot cheese too." -Wes

"I've got a tingle jingle down there." -Wes

"Let's go do Tina tonight." -Wes
"No, I'm not doing Tina." -Amanda
"Well I will. And I'll take my shirt off...and I'm bloated." -Wes

"What are the words to the that [cupid shuffle] dance? Downtown sugarland? Downtown sugar brown?" -Wes

"I'll shave the beard, but for you baby, I'll keep the taint tickler." -Wes

"Those white picket fence women with their golden retrievers- they're swingers." -Wes

"Baby, this dress is so bohemian of you." -Wes

"No, he shouldn't cut his hair. I love his hair. It's beautiful." -Amanda
"If I had short hair, you couldn't throw me around." -Wes

"All I said was you must be pregnant because you don't just put on that weight overnight." -Wes
"You have a lot to learn about women and weight." -Mitch
"I'm just a young cub." -Wes

"If you don't want shit falling on you, don't fuck under the kitchen table."- Mom

"My awesome tank is full." -Amanda

"Well at least someone's getting a piece of ass." -Wes
"Oh yeah?"-Amanda (as she turns into DDTTT and starts taking off her coat)
"I'm kind of scared, but I'm also excited."-Wes

"You're not a real man unless you've got a speedo."-Wes (to a random bar-goer)
On bar-goer's response to having one: "It's got nothing on mine." -Wes
"I'm kind of jealous." -Random bar-goer

"All I said was she could fit a bird's nest in her hair." -Wes
"She heard you! It was so embarrassing, I almost apologized for him. I'm sorry but my boyfriend has Tourette's." -Amanda

"He's got a case of the giggity giggles." -Amanda

"Who won the Nascar race?" -Wes
"Jeff Gordon won and Kyle Busch came in his mouth." -Amanda

On Wes and Tenney going to the bathroom at about the same time: "They're gonna go play tummy sticks in there. Someone should stop them." -Amanda

"No more crotch shots of your dog Amanda." -Mitch
"I'm not sorry. She has a good piddle." -Amanda

"I sold the most tickets because I'm related to everyone in Dodgeville." -Tonya
"I thought you said you were from Wisconsin not Alabama." -Tenney
"What is Wisconsin if not Canada's Alabama?" -Me

"Why do you think I cry myself to sleep at night." -Tonya
"I thought that was because you fell down first." -Tenney

"Put your keys away. I'll drive. I want to go to the Kyle Busch school of driving, not the Dale Earnhardt school this morning."- Wes

"If you tell me you're pregnant, I'm gonna punch you in the face." -Conrad
"If I tell you that, I prefer that you punch me in the uterus."- Amanda
"Yeah, right in the babymaker."-Conrad

"Why is Wes Somogy attacking my friend's face?" -Karina
"Because it tastes good and I'm hungry." -Wes

"I can see Jeff Bridges' camel toe."-Amanda (on Tron- the original)

"I feel like since guys have Mustache March and No-Shave November, girls should have a month, too. February is motorboat month. No wait! It doesn't start with 'F' like February." -Amanda
"Face-full of February." -Mitch

"Don't censor me. You're always trying to suppress my speech." -Westicles

"This fruit is like buffalo wings, good flavor, but a lot of work for so little reward." -Mitch

"Smoke 'em Mitch."- Westicles
"I would if we were in JBo's car, but in your Oldsmobile, I don't think we can."-Mitch
"Throw the coffee cup at them then." -Westicles

(After doing the 'flutter' with his hands and Amanda chuckling at him)
"Don't pay attention to her. She's just jealous I unleashed the butterflies."-Westicles

"Babe what happened to our lives?" -Westicles to Amanda on being drunk at 5 P.M. on a Sunday.

"Michael Jordan is my Bieber." - Mitch

"So I'm literally in class and..." - Horton
"I refuse to believe you were ever literally in class."- Me

"I represent a pro-high-five agenda." -Horton

"I don't care. It's my birthday. Stuff your face!"- Amanda to Tonya on why she needs to get a drink

(doing the Elaine Bennice dance while singing the rocky theme song) "What I lack in style, I make up for in enthusiasm." -Me

"You ready to go full frontal?"- Mitch (on hatbutt warfare)
"Nudity? You bet I am. P.S. While I'm down here..." (does family guy evil monkey point)-Me

"I thought his shirt said fighting scooters."- The Lar

"I have priorities and Tina Turner and karaoke and doing this to my hair (fluffs it up) are at the top." -Amanda

"Didn't anyone tell you about my penis?" -Yvonne

"I want to make sure we verb our nouns."-Horton

"I'll show you my attitude."- Mitch
"Mitch, you can't show her your attitude. That's how the police got you for public indecency last time." -Me

"I'm awesome and I want everyone to know we need to breakfast. You can vagina after we breakfast." -Horton

"I'm in love with you. I'm not really."-Amanda

"Did any of you explain to Neil that he should get into a girl's pants for sex, not just to wear them around?" -Me

"She's like George Bush. She gives you that look and is like heh heh heh...fucker." -Westicles on Amanda

"I got this scar from a knife fight when I was a kid..."-Westicles (on the scar he got from surgery when he was a baby)
(Mitch shows him his scar in response)
"Oh you did too? We can combine our scars."-Westicles
"It'll look like a cross." -Mitch

"Don't daddy me. (when Wes tries to take her drink from her) See? I'm also alliterative. That's why we fit." -Amanda