Mediterranean Cruise 2009:

"I wouldn't bring my mom here. You guys aren't rated for moms." -Me

"Mom she bit me. I had to retaliate." -Raj (To my mom. After he bit me first)

"Genuine fakes. Made in Turkey not in China." -street vendor

"My boyfriend's Indian. Bought him on the black market for a camel and a box of cigarettes." -Me

"Me? I'm priceless." -Raj

"Hazelnuts are Turkish Viagra." -street vendor

"I told you you didn't have to do that." -Me
"No you didn't. I've been holding it all night." -Raj
"So should I assume everything you have in your hand is mine?" -Me
"Sometimes." -Raj

"You have a boyfriend? No problem. I have a girlfriend." -street vendor

"Camels? What are you going to do with them? I give you cash money no problem." -street vendor

"Dbags? I like this term." -Raj

"It's from secret santa. Surprise." -Raj

"Did you put a spell on her? Is he that good at what he does that you keep helping?" -Pete

"Vini, what would your mama say?" -Aldin
"She would say this is awesome." -Vini

"I mean, I'm drunk. But I don't want them to treat me that way." -Aldin

"At least he knows some French."
"Knowing French doesn't make you smarter."
"Au contraire."

"El dolphino!" -Vini

"It's pita time!" -Vini

"You need shoes cause I need money." -street vendor

"Come shop here. I'm ready." -street vendor

"Habibe Jen, you lost your mother?" -tour guide

"You could fedex yourself to me because I'm pretty sure you're over regulation weight." -Me

"I'm so witty when I'm tired." -Me

"I was buffetted. But not Jimmy Buffetted." -Me

"That guy. He poses no threat to me." -Raj

"Ooooooh Princess Jenni." -the guys

"So we're the only ones who know she's a genie?" -Raj

"She's not Turkish. She's my girlfriend." -street vendor

"Oh no I've got vini germs. ICK!" -Me