1L: Second Sem. Quotes:

"Shit damn piss shit damn piss. I've got Tourette's." -Stidd

"What are we supposed to do with the UCC? " -Stidd
"Learn it live it love it." -Me

"She's stout like a good beer." -Stidd

"Having sex with my kid is one thing. Looking like a girl is just disgusting." -C.E.

"If it looks like you, run." -C.E.

"You and Jesus are my two favorite Jews." -Stidd

"Yeah Stidd said sex had Sam." -Me
"You mean Sam had sex?" -Sam
"No it was so good, sex had you, Sam." -Me

"What do you sound like when you're having sex?" -Eszter
"Like angels and butterflies. Actually I sound like a siren bringing people in." -Sam
"Do you bring them in or do they bring you in? Are you having sex with girls?" -Me
"Maybe." -Sam
"Are you the man or woman?" -Stidd
"Everyone needs aa little role-playing Stidd." -Me

"Sam has plenty of self-love." -Stidd
"She means ego and not masturbation." -Me

"I never licked her back." -Me
"Well that's just rude." -Cohen

"I'm Jewish. We invented the Test-Drive." -Eszter

"You're the court. Only you can make a motion." -Me
"The only motions I make are on the dance floor." -Paulson

"I can't wait to use my law school pick-up lines. would you like to take my pole town with your imminent domain?" -Joe

"I don't get drunk. I get charming." -Joe

"Bone can no longer be allowed to be alone without supervision." -Stidd

"So you've said 10 bazillion other things about my mom?" -Paulson
"No." -Stidd
"What? Is my mom not good enough to talk about?" -Paulson

"I wanna see your mom beat you." -Stidd

"Hey Bone."
"Hey Boom."

"I wonder if history feels violated by having so many things in its annals?" -Paulson

"Wha?" -Paulson
"You're a crackhead!" -Me

"Michael. Again with the color of your shirt. Excellent choice!" -Stidd
"Thank you. I don''t dress myself." -Paulson

"What class is this? Civ.pro.?" -Paulson
"No, we're not in civ.pro." -Me
"Then where are we?" -Paulson
"Hell." -Me

"Bone I don't understand this place. Yesterday it was 40 degrees, today it's 190." -Graham
"I think it smells in here again too." -Stidd
"I don't know. I can't breathe because it's so hot!" -Graham

"You're such a bullshitter. I bet you bullshit your way through life don't you?" -Mona
"Maybe." -Me
"See! I knew it! You're such a bullshitter!" -Mona

"How do you think they make their decisions really? Are they rock-paper-scissors people you think?" -Me
"I think so yeah." -Stidd
"I bet Justice Scalia is an odds-and-evens kinda guy." -Me
"No it's all about the footrace down Mass.Ave. The Supreme Court Justices ride around on their law clerks and whoever wins the footrace, their decision becomes precedent, which is why I want to be Justice Scalia's clerk." -Graham

"I heart you...like love just love." -Me
"I heart you...like the blood-pumping beating thing." -Stidd
"You're both creepy and gross." -Me

"We're going to get him a little apple frame." -Me
"That's incredibly gay. You have my full support." -Paulson

"I know how much drinking means to you because it means as much to me." -Hannah
"I think it means a little more to me, but maybe that's the abstinence talking." -Me
"My abstinence must be verbose then." -Stidd

"Michael, I haven't talked to you in days." -Stidd
"I know, it's been glorious." -Paulson

"Damn you Prof. Wilson......I wish I could quit you." -Graham

summergerlz (9:29:59 AM): your love field?
TgDrIZzLe (9:30:34 AM): It lays out before us like a rolling tundra of heaving sweating manhood
TgDrIZzLe (9:30:57 AM): We lay under a sweet blanket of stars and speak of lavender and sweet honesuckle
TgDrIZzLe (9:31:02 AM): and consideration

"There goes Bone again. Can we get a single man over here?" -Graham

"You can get your tan on. You'll be all brown...like toast." -Me
"I like my toast with jelly. I hope I don't come back all sticky and purple too." -Paulson

"As far as I'm concerned Bone, there are known knowns and there are unknown unknowns...that is, there are things we know we know, and there are things we know we don't know, but there are things we don't know that we don't know." -Graham

"Look, I'm a law student, not a strategist." -Me

"Get your cold paws of death off me." -Me

"Michael did you say you were going to be here for 4 years?" -Stidd
"No. 40. Four-Zero." -Paulson
You're going to let it mess around with you for 40 years?" -Stidd
"It's already been messing with me for 20." -Paulson
"That's a long time to pay tuition."-Stidd
"Law is a fickle mistress." -Paulson

"Dust mites...anal rape..." -Paulson
"I see your quandry." -Natalie
"It's tight." -Paulson
"That was a bad use of that word." -Natalie

"I'm a postcard person in a two-volume wold." -Wilkie
"It's Wilki-nomics." -Graham

"Did you say ovary?" -Hannah

"We're lucky Jen still has her shirt on." -Lauren

"These babies (indicating boobs) need to breathe." -Lauren

"I know what you girls do...you hit spring break and your shirts come off one day and it's like wheeoooooooouuuu." -Graham

"Westlaw is like crack. They throw it at you while in you're in law school and get you hooked. Like here, the first one's free. Smoke up. Then, when you graduate they turn off the spiget. And then it gets expensive." -Prof. Preston

"Can we use Australian law? I was looking and was like Crikey! I found it!" -Clayton

"You're asking me if I'm on crack? When you're commander of the crack club?" -Me

"I don't mean to sound bitchy, but they're fat, and ugly, and bitter. But I don't mean to sound bitchy." -Bethie

"She might be my age. Or younger than me. Or older than me. I can't tell because she's a big girl." -Bethie

"What kind of addict doesn't want girl scout cookies?" -Pure

"Are you Marcy? Do you know Peppermint Patty?" -Beth

"What is that?" -Jobu
"A REALLY Long Island." -Paulson

"My virgin ears." -Rusk
"Yeah that's about the only part of you." -Beth

"Because there's nothing more Irish than the Jackson 5." -Me

mrbuttons01 (1:56:08 PM): ....and i always say that the team with the tallest lithuanian always wins

"So we're going to buy you and Hannah shirts that say, 'I'm feeling all kinds of creepy today;' that way, whenever you're feeling creepy and stalkerish, you can wear your shirt and we can all be on guard." -Me

"So I had a dream about your computer...I dreamt that I stole it. I also dreamt Sam spray-painted his hair black." -Hannah

"And my first instinct was to crawl under the study carrol..." -Hannah

*said in a mean tone* "Michael, I like the color of your shirt today." -Natalie
*likewise in mean tone* "Stidd. Thank you." -Paulson

"So sex ed. with Prof. Mags only meets once a week, but it's a three credit hour class because it's so uncomfortable." -Natalie

"She's getting a mail order bride from Thailand? I thought you got those from Russia." -Paulson

mrbuttons01: i remember when i was ultra violent
summergerlz: not to be confused with ultra violet
mrbuttons01: yah
mrbuttons01: that looks like a shitty movie
mrbuttons01: but it's still a cool as hell part of the electromagnetic spectrum
mrbuttons01: and you can take that statement to the bank

"American men. First they make you pay, and then they cheat on you!" -Courtney

"I thought you'd enjoy watching Justice Ginsberg lay the smackdown...on me." -Prof. Cooper

"I was like a mariachi. Everyone heard me, but I was only aiming it at one person." -Natalie

"I'm going to be bleeding physics out my ears." -Jobu

"If you're going to say herpes and chlamydia, just say chirpies." -Lauren

"I got Slammed in the Alabama." -Hannah
"I hope you know that isn't a body part." -Lauren

"Hello curb! Did you like it when I rubbed against you?" -Lauren

"What if the earth was made of nerf?" -Lauren

"If only you were my daughter and not the smelly girl at Riley Tower." -Hannah

"Can you canoodle without a noodle?" -Lauren

"Crapalicious!" -Lauren

"I don't know what's going on...I just did it because..." -Josh
"Because you're used to obeying female directives." -Graham

"Hannah, you peed on her dreams." -Renee

"It was a very humbling experience. It was like being stood against a wall and beaten with a wet noodle." -Renee

"Why are there titties on my TV?" -Beth

"NasaTV is like Mr. Wizard on crack." -Beth

"Porn: it's flesh-colored crack." - Guy on the news

"Add tights and an accent and it's like, 'hey, check out my package.' " -Beth

"They didn't start out alcoholics. They inherited it from their wife." -Mom
"Alcoholism: the gift that keeps on giving." -Me

"Your leather pants aren't tight enough to hit that note." -Paulson
"I wish my leather pants were tighter." -Me
"Don't we all?" -Paulson

"Do you know what the capital of Guatemala is? Guatemala. And do you know what the capital of Nicaragua is? Managua. It rhymes." -Stidd
"And do you know what's Stidd is on? Crack." -Me
"Crack Cocaine doesn't rhyme." -Stidd

"Happy Valentine's Day. May I feel your asshole?" -Bethie

"But then I thought, maybe they'll be having wild Cherokee butt-sex or something." -Lauren

"It was from a song. You're not something like I'm something. Maybe bumping bumping." -Lauren
"That was the William Shatner version of that song." -Me

"Because it's Valentine's Day and nothing smells like sexy like a horse's ass." -Me

"It's a good thing I do toe-touches everyday because I've gotten screwed twice today." -Natalie

"I think this as close as oil comes to water. But I'm norm what that weans." -Paulson

"You said exactly what I for one was thinking every time I've been to the gynecologist." -Paulson

"Did I miss any fun after I left?" -Natalie
"No everyone left. You broke up the band. You're the Yoko." -Me

"Ok random thought. Instead of being the tumor of knowledge, can we be the humor tumor?" -Paulson

"Is there some argument that if you accepted death as a risk you also accepted dry mouth?" -Joe

"India, Mexico...they're shaped the same way. They're the same country. It's like the northwest passage you go south and you're headed west or east..." -Paulson
"Or both. Your sense of geography scares me. I don't know if you know this, but the world is round, not flat." -Me
"Yes but is it round like a doughnut or round like a trumpet?" -Paulson

"You mean to say she's a crazy, stalking, blind, deaf lesbian? Someone needs to buy her a puppy." -Paulson

"Your dexterity is dextrous. It'd be better if my name was Dexter." -Lauren

"Do you hear that buzzing? Or is that just me? Aliens have invaded my brain!" -Prof. Crews

"It was odd. She started shaving her head and quit shaving everything else." -Lauren

"I don't have a breezeway and the chub-rub causes pain in the summer." -Natalie

"I wish my stomach would eat my thighs." -Lauren

"Looking for a man is like looking for a pair of shoes. There are a thousand in the store, but you leave with nothing because they don't fit or they're not the right color." -Renee
"So you buy a pair of Dr. Scholl inserts and make the best of it." -Lauren

"Sorry Renee, but my swing goes straight." -Hannah

"You're a Rois-minion."- Natalie

"Yeah, I'm a tool." -Beth
"Yeah, but you're a fun tool, like a sledge hammer." -Me
"I'm a flamethrower." -Beth
"That's an even better tool!" -Me

"There's so many man-boobs in here." -Beth

"Oh Tweeder. That small compact wall of testosterone." -Paulson

"He'd have to pay you on retainer." -Me
"Yeah a big retainer. Like one of those big floppy ones you have to wear around at night and it goes all the way around your head." -Paulson

"I like your mom 'cause she can speed." -Court
"I like your mom." -Amanda
"The Deb." -Court
"Did she just go there?" -Me
"Yeah she did. She just Karl Malone-d me." -Amanda

"I'm not really high on Christians." -Amanda

"Finally , I was like 'fine, file my nails'. I have a big gay boyfriend." -Amanda

"It's like your shirts are off! Bam!" -Amanda
"It's like where'd they go?" -Court

"I am the village idiot." -Court

“There’s all this intelligence. It’s like a tumor.” –Natalie
“Did we just get called a tumor?” –Paulson
“I think we did. A tumor of intelligence.” -Me

"I didn't know you could make coffee with crack." -Paulson

New Orleans Quotes:

"Shannon's mom calls me all the time." -Kaleb
"That's because she wants to get with you." -Shannon
"I can't even get my mom to call me."- Kaleb
"That's because you're not giving it to her right." Frank

"You just have that kind of aura where men run into you in the middle of the street like a magnet. (A man then runs into me in the middle of the street.) See? I told you!" -Shannon

"Do I feel like doing work? No, I don't think so. That's my motto for working." -LaKeisha

"I'm very passionate about it. Not passionate enough to do something about it, but passionate enough to criticize it." -Kaleb

"It's not a fact, but I do feel very strongly about it, so that makes it a fact because you can't argue with me about it." -Kaleb

"I needed a shower. My hair was all over the place this morning." -Me
"Yeah I saw you. I mean, what am I going to say to get out of this? Some people are just naturally pretty. It's just an observation." -Josh

"It's nice to have a shower because, sometimes, you just need to feel pretty." -Craig

"You remind me of someone I know." -Dana
"Everyone reminds you of someone you know. I think you're just making those things up now." -Siobhan